This episode explores addictive processes through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and nervous system regulation. Sara Avant Stover is joined by IFS senior trainer and therapist Cece Sykes for a grounded conversation about why compulsive behaviors develop and how they function as protection. Together, they unpack managers, firefighters, and exiles, and how these parts interact when we feel overwhelmed or unsafe. The episode offers a compassionate framework for understanding reactivity without shame.
In this episode, we explore:
- How IFS understands addictive processes as protective patterns
- The roles of managers, firefighters, and exiles in compulsive cycles
- Why nervous system dysregulation drives reactivity and urgency
- How choice and self-energy interrupt repetitive patterns
- Why healing addictive processes takes time and patience
Key takeaways
- Addictive behaviors are attempts to regulate overwhelm, pain, or vulnerability
- Firefighter parts act quickly to soothe or escape distress
- Manager parts often respond with control, perfectionism, or criticism
- Awareness and curiosity create space for choice and regulation
- Healing is a gradual process that unfolds over time, not through force
Resources mentioned
- Cece Sykes
- Free Guide: 7 Hidden Ways Your Unresolved Wounds Are Sabotaging Your Business
Episode FAQs
What does it mean to say “you’re not overreacting”?
From an IFS perspective, intense reactions reflect nervous system responses shaped by past experiences. These reactions are protective rather than excessive or irrational.
How does IFS define addictive processes?
IFS views addictive processes as patterns driven by firefighter parts that seek relief from emotional pain, stress, or overwhelm. These behaviors are understood in context rather than judged.
Why do people shift from one compulsive behavior to another?
When underlying vulnerability has not been addressed, the system may recruit new protective strategies. This is a common part of the healing process rather than a failure.
What role does self-energy play in healing?
Self-energy allows for curiosity, calm, and clarity. From this state, people can notice patterns, relate to parts with compassion, and access greater choice.
Is this episode relevant if I don’t identify with addiction?
Yes. The conversation focuses on universal nervous system patterns that affect many areas of life, including work, relationships, food, technology, and self-regulation.
Read the Full Transcript
Hello friends. Welcome back. This month we’re exploring addictive processes through the lens of Internal Family Systems. Before we begin, I want to offer a trigger warning. If addictive processes feel activating for you, please take care of yourself as you listen or choose not to engage.
When I first learned the IFS map of addictive processes, something shifted deeply for me. I began to understand patterns that had felt confusing and difficult to change despite years of therapy and self-work. IFS offered a way to understand these experiences with compassion rather than shame.
Today I’m joined by Cece Sykes, a senior IFS trainer and therapist who specializes in trauma and addiction. Cece explains that IFS understands the psyche as made up of parts: managers, firefighters, and exiles. Managers try to maintain control and stability. Firefighters act quickly to soothe or escape distress. Exiles carry vulnerability, pain, and unmet needs.
Addictive processes often arise when firefighter parts step in to manage overwhelming feelings. These behaviors are not signs of failure, but attempts to help the system survive. Over time, these patterns can become repetitive and compulsive, especially when underlying vulnerability remains unaddressed.
Cece emphasizes that everyone has these parts. The goal is not to eliminate them, but to understand how they function and what they protect. Healing begins by noticing patterns, slowing down, and bringing curiosity to inner experiences.
She explains that self-energy—marked by calm, awareness, and clarity—allows for choice. Even small pauses create space to respond differently. Over time, this can reduce the intensity of compulsive cycles.
Cece also speaks about the importance of patience. Addictive processes often develop early in life and serve essential survival functions. Healing them takes time, support, and compassion. Progress happens gradually as parts feel safer and less burdened.
The conversation closes with a guided reflection to help listeners notice their own patterns and parts. Rather than fixing or forcing change, the practice invites awareness and understanding as the foundation for healing.
